The Sketcher…

27 Oct

Picture it & Write is a weekly creative writing prompt hosted by the Ermilia coauthors, Ermisenda and Eliabeth. Here’s my contribution to this week’s challenge:

You know how artists always seem to live in a world of their own? How they seem so oblivious of what goes on around them…but at the same time see every little thing and how beautiful it is or it could be. You know what huge geeks they are, how awkward they are when it comes to mundane things us mere mortals do. You do know how brutally honest they can be, right? How their compliments are the most sincere. How they give off that fearless vibe when they are the most insecure things ever to have been created.

Or maybe that was just him…

Do you know how twisted and dark their beautiful minds can be…did any one of them let you see? Let you see their soul? Let you inside their bubble? Did you like it there or were you just uncomfortable? They know how to get you out of your comfort zone. They know how to make you see things you could not see on your own. They can show you your own thoughts in a way you could not imagine.

Tell me it was not just him…

They make you want more. They open your eyes, your heart, your soul… They know how to paint over your scars and open new ones that you will never want to heal. They show you places you never want to leave. They sketch your demons embracing theirs. They make you believe in carpe diem. They inspire your darkness and light up your world.

Or maybe that was just me…

I like to believe that everyone has their artist. I like to believe you and me was a unique thing. But everything is unique to an artist. So, everything is the same.

I like to believe I was not mundane to you. But I know we all are…

Yes, everybody has their artist, but you were the sketcher…mine for a while but not belonging anywhere in this world.

 

Here’s the picture that inspired this piece:

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All credits for the picture goes to Ermiliablog.

Alexandra

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Canada, University and Halloween

26 Oct

It’s been slightly over two months since I’ve set foot in Canada and I think it’s a good thing I waited all this time before writing down my impressions on this blog. The first weeks were…disorienting and challenging to say the least. It took some time adjusting to the weather and the bland food, and to be honest, the first 2 weeks I was convinced I would never be able to make friends and that I might as well lock myself in my room forever. I was sad, lonely and homesick. I spent my birthday being sad, lonely and homesick.

Then the roommate took things in hand. She bought a How To Train Your Dragon poster and stated that if it did not fall overnight- all my posters had been falling off the wall, I blame the sticky tack- we were gonna make friends that day. It did not fall. We made friends. They are pretty awesome people.

Thank you, Toothless and Hiccup. 

That’s when I realised that people who choose a liberal arts university tend to have a lot in common. They all tend to be geeks and nerds. Book nerds, gamers, movie geeks, music freaks…you name it. I love it! Quite soon after that, our room became one of the social ones- who would have thought, huh? There can still be people here at 2a.m debating on how corrupt FIFA is or just watching Sherlock or Disney movies. Because yes.

Besides, classes have been going pretty well. We are to take 5 classes per semester and the first year, it can be as random as you can make it. I chose intro to criminology, intro to cultural anthropology, Japanese, Latin and Spanish. My crim class is all about learning theories of crime through movies. So far we’ve watch Double IndemnityFrankenstein, Psycho and Taxi Driver and I think I’ve discovered myself a fondness for film noir. Also, learning three languages at the same time is quite something. Not something I would recommend but something I really enjoy, no matter how confusing it gets. I’m pretty proud of myself for being able to read hiragana and knowing the cases of words in Latin. I’m not saying it’s not challenging, it is- I promised myself to not say it is hard- but I find it extremely rewarding when I do get things. A bit like with maths but actually fun. So you could say that so far, yo hablo seis idiomas…kinda. I’m planning on learning Italian and Greek too, because why not? I love languages. *maniacal laughter*

So, you could say I finally feel at home. I have posters, postcards and pictures of my friends and family on my walls. The roommate and I found a cleaning/tidying and laundry routine. We bought Nandos sauce to add to pretty much everything we eat. We found other international students with similar habits and customs. Things are going pretty well.

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Anyways, let’s get down to what I really wanted to write about: Halloween. Next week is gonna be my first Halloween and last night was my first Halloween party. I must say, back when I realised I was going to Canada for my studies, I was super hyped for this. I’ve always wanted to dress up and honestly, in Mauritius there are not many opportunities to do so. I never thought I’d be apprehensive about it…I never imagined I would not feel like picking up a costume. My first Halloween threatened who I am fundamentally. I felt a lot like Cady from Mean Girls. I am the girl from Africa who moves to North America. Well, maybe that is a bit exaggerated. I mean, I did know what Halloween was all about. I knew about all the “slutty” costumes because…Internet. However, living it turned out being very different from observing it online from across the world.

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I did not want to play the sexy card and just be a sexy cat, a sexy vampire or a sexy magician. No offense intended to those who do, it’s just really not me and I like being me. Until about 6 hours before the party was to start, I did not feel like going, I had not found a costume I would like wearing and I just felt like eating bacon in bed. That’s when, while walking around in the mall, I saw a couple of things that gave me the perfect Halloween costume idea for me.

Rainbow Dash/Batgirl :D

Rainbow Dash/Batgirl 😀

I personally think these two go really well together, especially on me. Batman behind me seems to approve. Hell yeah.

Funny how despite the fact that I was wearing a skirt, some people just assumed I was Batman… Honestly, I’d rather be Batgirl than Batman. Less issues. Nicer hair. Same badassness.

*sigh* Writing all this made me hungry. I’m gonna make spicy ramen noodles in my microwave. So long 😉

Oh! and HAPPY HALLOWEEN! 😀

P.S: If you feel particularly proud of where you are from and you feel like spending a bit on a stranger, you could send me a postcard to add to my collection. Comment or contact me through Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr and we can talk about it. You’ll find the links in my “Contact me, maybe?” page.

Disney Channel and twins: a love story

6 Aug

Have you been watching Disney Channel lately? I have. Don’t judge me, I’ve had a lot of free time and I’m someone kinda lazy who wishes she was 8 years old once again. Therefore, yes, I have been watching a lot of TV and a lot of Disney Channel- let’s say it is to stay young at heart. Anyway, I noticed that these days on Disney Channel- and I mean Disney Channel France, we have the french channels in Mauritius- there are a lot of twins. That’s when I realised that since I started watching TV, about 14 years ago, there were never no twins on Disney Channel. They must really like this concept. Probably because people like twins, it’s twice as much fun and cuteness and there’s this double trouble thing also.

Anyways, if you don’t believe there have been many twins on this channel, I decided to make a list :p

*Note: This list was made in an approximate chronological order and by twin pair, meaning if the subtitle mention a show starring a particular pair of twin, any other project starring them will be mentioned under that subtitle and not another.

#1. The Parent Trap

I know this 1998 movie doesn’t star actual twins but back in the days I used to think Lindsay Lohan really had a twin sister. I was 3 years old, don’t blame me, then later on I read in a magazine how the movie was made and I was even more impressed by Lohan’s acting. I used to wonder if sometimes she wished she had a real twin, I know I wish I did. These were the good ol’ days when Lohan, playing Hallie Parker and Annie James, was still the young promising actress we all loved. ‘The Parent Trap’ is one of my all time favourite movies and it is not one of those movies that you stop enjoying once you grow up. I mean, when will this ever cease to be funny?

and by 'this' I meant this

and by ‘this’ I meant this

Never.

Aaah this blond gold-digger…I don’t remember her name but I know it did not take as much as lizard on her face to freak her out.

the parent trap

I hope I find my secret twin already, there are so many people I want to freak out.

#2. Sister, Sister

This series, starring the twins Tia and Tamera Mowry, aired on ABC from 1994 to 1999 then later on Disney Channel aired the episodes between 2002 and 2007, meaning on the french channels there must have been a lag of about a year. Nevertheless I was really young when this used to air and since there have not been a lot of re-runs I have not many vivid memories of this show…except for its theme song of course. There were a lot of them, I remember the season 3 to 4 one best and I found a video on YouTube that lets us watch them all in HD. Yay!

While ‘Sister, Sister’ was airing on Disney Channel, they apparently couldn’t miss the opportunity to use the twin concept some more, therefore leading to a couple of Original Disney Channel movies, namely ‘Twitches‘ in 2005 and its sequel ‘Twitches Too‘ in 2007. Magical twins from another world who live on Earth and never meet until a little before they turn 21. This show and movies featured the one of only two pair of twins with different surnames, unless you count the twitches birth name: Apolla and Artemis DuBaer.

twitches

All I can say is the idea of identical twins who have no idea they have a twin, live their life peacefully and suddenly meet their biological doppelganger later on in life by pure coincidence is popular, to say the least. But it is entertaining and adding a magic twist cannot hurt.

#3. Kim Possible

Okay, this series was not about the crazy adventures of twins but one must not forget Jim and Tim, Kim Possible’s younger identical twins siblings. How can one even forget their “hicka-bicka-boo” “hoo-sha”? How can one say the Tweebs were not an awesome and absolutely cute part of this show?? Simple, one cannot.

 

Adorable. Hard to imagine these two were  the young scientists and mechanical geniuses that they were.

Adorable. Hard to imagine these two were the young scientists and mechanical geniuses that they were.

#4. The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Finally a pair of identical non-animated twins that grew up together: Zack and Cody Martin! These blond-heads started charming us with their cuteness back in 2005 as they unleashed mayhem in the Tipton Hotel of  Boston. I must admit I had a crush on Cody, because he was smart. I like that. Zack wasn’t bad either. I cannot say I wasn’t happy to see them back on Disney Channel in The Suite Life on Deck in 2008…and to see that puberty had done a good job. The cute little faces hadn’t gone through a ‘Macaulay Culkin’ transition, meaning their twin-ness was still exploitable. Not that I am complaining.

zackandcody

We must also not forget that while the suite life was airing, the Sprouse twins also starred in ‘Modern Twain Story: The Prince and The Pauper‘ in 2007 and later on finally got their ‘The Suite Life Movie‘ in 2011. That was some extra twin-awesomeness for us.

#5. The High School Musical Movies

You may not really follow me on that one and that’s understandable. It wasn’t until years after the last HSM movie was produced and aired that I realised that Sharpay and Ryan Evans were fraternal twinsies. I knew they were siblings and I did realise they were in the same grade but never did the twin idea really cross my mind. If you were like me and didn’t already know about these two then, I guess now the coordinated outfits, the chemistry and synchronisation all make a lot more sense.

Especially hard to believe when you know they spent 9 months in the same womb.

Especially hard to believe when you know they spent 9 months in the same womb.

Seriously though, casting Ashley Tisdale and Lucas Grabeel for these roles was a perfect choice. That’s probably when Disney Channel realised they did not need to cast real life twins to continue exploring- and exploiting a bit- the universe of twins onscreen. This is even more apparent in the more recent Disney Channel Original shows below.

#6. Liv & Maddie

This show started airing on Disney Channel in 2013 and it stars Dove Cameron as she plays both Liv and Maddie Rooney, identical twins who don’t have much in common except their appearance. This seems to be a bit of wink to ‘The Parent Trap’. Liv is a starlet, freshly back home from Hollywood she has to find her place again in the family and rekindle her relationship with her three siblings, namely her twin sister Maddie, a tomboyish myopic for whom sports and competition are huge parts of her life.

Liv_and_Maddie_poster

I cannot help but like this show. It is still on its first season and still has this innocence Disney shows have at the beginning but what I find refreshing is how the script is written to make the protagonists, Liv and Maddie, actually nice to each other. They try to be nice to each other, to help and please each other…it really is a change to see Disney onscreen siblings not be jerks to each other like on ‘Hannah Montana’ or ‘The Wizards of Waverly Place’. Maybe it is just because they are twins- but then Zack wasn’t exactly sweet to Cody most of the time- but I hope the love will last longer than the first season.

Oh and Dove Cameron’s acting makes it seem like she has a promising career in front of her. This girl knows her job. I know I am not a movie critic but I believe I’ve watched enough movies and TV shows to recognise bad acting, and this is not it.

#7. I Didn’t Do It

Honestly, I did not think I would like ‘I Didn’t Do It’ but then I kinda found myself in Lindy- the nerd- so let’s just say that if I turn on the TV and this show is on I won’t switch channels unless I absolutely know there is something I really love on another channel at that time. The twins on this show are Logan and Lindy Watson, fraternal twins played by Austin North and Olivia Holt. See what I meant by not having to cast actual twins to play twins anymore?

ididntdoit

The twins are obviously the blonds. How many times have the twins on Disney Channel been blonds? A lot. Excluding Tia and Tamera, we never had brunette twins. It is as if Disney doesn’t know this species exist in real life too- referring to Jim and Tim Possible here.

#8. Gravity Falls

New pair of twins in an animated TV show aaaaand they are dark haired. I’m seriously freaked out, maybe they do only exist in the animated world of Disney Channel! Then I have zero hope of finding my secret twin someday 😦 *breathe in, breathe out* Anyway, welcome Mabel and Dipper Pines to the big twin family of Disney!

S1e2_mabel_and_dipper_punching

I absolutely love Gravity Falls, because it does not make a lot of sense but the main character actually realises this and is as ‘freaked out’ as me. So in the end it is not a big pack on nonsense, more like a big pack of weird mysteries. Do you get what I mean? No? Yes? It doesn’t matter, I won’t change my mind. Their supernatural universe full of vampires, dinosaurs, latino mermen, marriage-obsessed gnomes and weirdly cute triangular demons to say the least, is one I really like.

The Pines close my twin list of Disney Channel. I wonder when they will find a new pair of real life twins to use on a show again… I don’t think that will be anytime soon, they have enough twins in their studios to last a while.

If you think I missed a pair, let me know in the comments. You could tell me which is your favourite pair too 😀

What’s worse: pain or discomfort?

2 Aug

Today I had a dentist appointment. I had to get a mould of my upper jaw for a retainer again because someone knocked my retainer off a table and managed to land a book on it, all that accidentally. I must say that’s pretty impressive…and also very annoying. Not that I loved my retainer but I had gotten used to it and I had accepted its purpose as important. I had grown to accept that the most annoying part about the retainer was making the mould, not wearing it all the time. So I took good care of it but accidents happen and it was decided I would face my doom again today. It was the third time I had to do this and it does not get better. Note that this is not the case for everyone, I just have a gagging problem when it come to this horrible plastic paste and the metal plate that takes too much space. It is not painful. It’s just uncomfortable.

That’s when it hit me that I’d rather spend over 2 hours under a tattoo needle than less than minute with this thing in my mouth. I’d say in that case, discomfort is worse than pain to me. Just in that case? Let me reflect on the ‘pain’ experiences that I’ve had. I’ve got scraps and wounds like any kid – one time I fell down and got really ugly scraps on both my knees, my elbow, my lip and my left eyebrow and to this day I’m not that sure how it happened; I broke my arm more than a couple of times; I cracked a bone in my neck; I’ve had horrible menses pain; I’ve had nearly as horrible braces pain; I got waxed and depilated; and last February I got tattooed. None of these seem worse than upper jaw moulding.

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Seems small but this did take about two hours. Probably because the tattoo artist took his time, took breaks that were convenient for both of us and talked a lot. He talked to get me to think of something else than the pain, he offered me a drink, I was told I could stop him at any moment I could not hold the pain and there was music. I don’t know about you, but in my opinion, music makes a big difference. Thinking of it now, professional tattoo artists are way better at putting their clients at ease than dentists. Well, my dentist at least. See, if the experience is not gonna be a pleasant one, might as well make the person comfortable. I guess that’s the philosophy of tattoo artists.

So what’s worse, pain or discomfort? When I was about 5, I broke my arm and when my dad asked me if I was in pain I said ‘no’. I literally said I had nothing and that I was fine. I don’t remember how painful it was but what I remember is how annoying it is to shower with a plastic bag on the plaster on your left arm. This may be an interesting anecdote but it does not really answer the question. If you have an answer, tell me in the comments- be it here or on Facebook.

Oh and by the way, I recently got my visa and I’m leaving for Canada soon for a four-year university experience! Yay! This said, my next posts will most likely be travel related. If you are leaving soon too, you might relate and find tips or even share your own tips 🙂

Finally a useful hashtag: #mealforameal

1 Aug

Hello! This post is a short quick one about something I found out today and that I find important, possibly because it concerns food and helping fellow humans. Read on!

This week was definitely not a boring week. I mean, Orlando Bloom tried to punch the Biebs (yay!) and I caught my first 6 shinies, including one that is not a fish Pokémon (double yay!) in a Pokémon game. Let’s just say that I was previously unlucky, and that I was not really looking for them. Anyways, that was it for the insight in my life. Now, I’m addressing my fellow people of the social media, my friends on Facebook, my followers on Instagram and Twitter and all those on those social sites who don’t know me (hi!).

I’m not sure you heard about it so I’m spreading the news, Virgin Mobile Australia together with OzHarvest have a launched a hashtag initiative called #mealforameal and if you want a tad more info about it all go there. Basically, for every food picture anyone of you posts on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter with the hashtag #mealforameal, a real meal will be given to someone who really needs it in Aussie.

mealforameal

I don’t live in Australia and maybe you don’t either but this is just a little thing you can actually do for free to help those in need, so why not? I know a lot of you post pictures of their food all the time, I plead guilty myself, so if one hashtag can make a difference, let’s do this! Okay? Okay.

Myths about girls that we have to stop preaching

20 Jul

You may think you know everything about your body..or your girlfriend’s body or your wife’s body or your friend with benefits’ body. Maybe in your head you are an ultimate sex god. Maybe you think you are a total noob. Thing is, there are a few things that you really have to know, be it for yourself, for a friend or your future daughter or anyone that could ask you questions and that you won’t want to mislead. Today, we are debunking myths.

Please note that I was gonna put a warning sign at the top of this article but then realised that everyone should know about what I am addressing and that I have not been vulgar in any way. If you disagree, we can talk about it.

Let's get down to business.

Now, let’s get down to business.

 

Myth no.1: Shaving causes hair to grow back thicker or fuller.

This is one of the biggest myths that have ever been passed on from generations to generations. However, it is just a myth that science easily makes do of. Shaving simply cuts the hair. Hair growth is controlled by hair follicles found just underneath the skin.  There is no way that shaving can affect the follicles deep under the skin since only the outer part of your hair that is already dead is getting cut.   The follicles underneath that determine thickness and growth rate remain completely unaffected by your shaving or not shaving or waxing for that matter. The only factors that could affect the follicles are genetics and hormones.

The shorter hair is just stuck at an angle that makes it look coarse and thick. It is an illusion. It is also just a ‘feeling’ that the hair is stronger and broader when it is shorter, but the actual thickness is exactly the same as when it was when longer.

Myth no.2: You have to shave or wax to enjoy life- or sex.

no no no no samuel l jackson

It is easy to feel pressurised to shave or wax with all the commercials of beautiful women shaving or waxing their already hair-less long and sexy legs. Maybe all your friends wax and maybe all the women in your family have always shaved but in all honesty, none of this means you have to do so too. You do not have an obligation to do something to your body that you don’t want to do. If you don’t feel like waxing your legs then don’t. If you don’t feel like shaving, fine. It is your body, it is your choice. You don’t have to do it if your boyfriend asks you to. You don’t have to do it if your grandmother thinks it would look prettier. This also works in the other direction: your best friend telling you not to shave is not good reason enough to not do it if you feel like shaving.

Also, this myth concerns pubic hair as well. It is not because clean-shaven pussy is a trend in the porn industry that you have to shave yours, or pressurise your girlfriend into shaving hers. Shaving the pubic area has become very common, even desirable, among teenagers and young adults. And although it may be becoming the social norm, that does not mean you should do it. Again, your body, your choice. However it is important to note that pubic hair exists for a reason and removing it may not be the best idea ever. Some research should be done before your take a razor to your bush.

Fun fact: the average woman is estimated to spend an average of $10,000 on hair removal and shaving products in her entire life. That’s approximately Rs 308,000. Personally, I’d rather spend that on travelling or buying books than on the smoothness of my legs. Ultimately the choice is yours- and yours only- whether you decide to shave/wax or not.

idowatiwant

Myth no.3: The hymen breaks the first time you have sex.

mourinho finger wag no

I’m gonna be honest with you, the first time I heard of the hymen, how it breaks when you have sex for the first time and how after that you are no more a virgin, I was eleven and I did not even understand where the hell the hymen is. I think you are supposed to see it or feel it and it is not even supposed to be complicated. But really, I was at a loss and I was glad to read that many scientists can’t really agree on where the hymen is supposed to be either.

Anyways, let’s talk about hymens. Girls are often led to believe that the hymen is a flat piece of tissue covering the vagina, which is punctured during intercourse. False. “Usually, the hymen looks like a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening,” says Carol Roye, a nursing professor at Hunter College and a nurse practitioner who specializes in adolescent primary and reproductive health care.. “It is not an intact piece of tissue draped across it. Some girls are born without a hymen, others have only a scanty fringe of tissue. Despite all the mystery around it, we can agree that the hymen is just a body part.” Oh and for your information, hymens don’t “break”. They can get torn during sex or any other physical activity ranging from horse riding to falling off a trampoline but they don’t break. You can’t tear through the hymen the way you could poke a hole in saran wrapper with your fingers. The thing about hymens is that, like any other part of a person’s body, it changes with time. Cleaning, self-exploration, sports and even walking all contribute to thin and widen the hymenal tissue and by the time a girl reaches adulthood, there is little to no tissue remaining around the vaginal opening and it is really not a big deal because your hymen is NOT the sign of your virginity.

 The concept of virginity has an emotional connotation. It is more than just the physical disruption of hymenal tissue.

If a young woman has had a sexual relationship with her partner, and she feels that she has lost her virginity, then she has, regardless of what actually happened to her hymen during the encounter. There are ancillary issues that each woman must answer for herself.

That also means you cannot ‘restore your virginity’ through hymenal reconstructive surgery or with fake hymens. Virginity is in your head.

Myth no.4: Your first time will absolutely hurt.

wrong-gif

I can already hear you from here. “But my first time did hurt! A lot!” Okay, maybe it did hurt but thing is it should not have to hurt. The fact that it is the first time is not the reason behind the pain, correlation is not causation. The pain actually comes from increased muscle tensions due to nervousness. “But I did bleed!” Yes well, that is most likely due to tissues breaking because of lack of lubricating. That in itself would be the result of not enough foreplay and inexperience. “Tissue breaking? You mean my hymen, right?” No. No I do not mean your hymen. What I mean though, is that the main reason girls experience pain the first time they have sex is because they expect to feel pain. This expectation is what causes the nervousness that causes the extra tightness, the lack of natural lubricant, the pain and the bleeding. Forget the hymen. The pain you experience is not the hymen breaking simply because the hymen does not break. Okay? Okay.

Long conclusion: If we stopped telling girls to expect horrible pain on their first times, things would be a lot less painful for them and a lot less troublesome for everyone.

Short conclusion: It is kinda all in your head.

Myth no.5: A tight vagina is a sign of sexual arousal.

whaaat

whaaaaat?

If you thought this was so, I have bad news for you: your life is a lie. Maybe you’ve seen countless of comments and erotic stories and fanfictions mention how “wet tight pussies” are the shit, I’ve seen them too and they are as wrong as can be. A tight vagina is actually a sign of not being sexually stimulated enough. If your girlfriend is really tight it is not an epic win. She is either too nervous or has a medical condition or you are just doing a terrible job at turning her on. Sorry, not sorry. Know that It can take sometimes 20 minutes or more of foreplay for a woman’s vaginal muscles to relax enough to be truly ready for penetrative sex. So take your time and relax.

Myth no.6: Small, petite or even virgin girls have tighter vaginas.

bsBeing small, petite or a virgin is not the reason why a vagina is tighter than usual. Anxiety is the only thing that makes the vaginal musculature clench even tighter. Size, age and sexual experience of a person does not physically affect the vagina. Some tall and huge women can be tight if they’re anxious and some small, young virgins who are relaxed and turned on can be stretched just the right way. Vaginas are elastic and will stretch and expand – sometimes to almost twice their size – during sex, regardless of how big or small you are, if they are rubbed the right way.
However, someone who has sex often may be less anxious that someone who has never had sex before. That is why it is often believed that virgins have tighter vaginas, thing is they are probably just more stressed about the sex.

P.s: This does not refer to children. Children should not be having sex.

Myth no.7: You need to clean your vagina regularly.

britney whaaatYou may be genuinely confused about this one. Maybe all your life you’ve been told to wash your private parts carefully with water and soap or even douche or other cleansing products. But there’s something you have to know: the vagina is a self-cleaning organ. It produces its own vagina-made  protective substances that gets rid of any unwanted bacteria and fluids. “But douche has been specially designed to clean vaginas, right?” Well, yes and no. Most of the time all these feminine cleansing products can do more harm than good by unbalancing the vaginas natural pH and causing irritations. Water should do just the trick. The only time a vagina might need extra help cleaning-wise is if you notice a stronger than usual smell down there. Healthy vaginas should not smell like fish, if yours constantly has this problem you should definitely see a doctor. Yeast infections, dehydration or an excess intake of vitamin supplements could be the problem. In any case, no need to panic. No need to take huge risks either, so just go see a doctor.

Myth no.8: Sex and childbirth will loosen your vagina forever.

Nononono emma stone

Right, and your girlfriend feeling looser down there is not proof she is cheating on you. Look, as I said above, vaginas are elastic and they most usually always naturally tighten again after sex. The vagina is like an elastic band and unless you have sex 5 times a day every single day, there should not be any visible effect on your vagina. Intercourse does not permanently loosen your vagina.

Similarly, childbirth will not stretch your vagina to the point of no return. Of course, the stretching is not comparable to the one that happens during sex but give it a few months and your ‘va jay jay’ should be back to new. However, age and frequency are important factors and studies have shown that often, the vaginas of young women after multiple births may not snap back entirely back as they were and older women who have give birth more than once in their later days tend to experience “persistent looseness.”

I addressed only 8 myths in this article but there are actually many many more things that people are very wrong about when it comes to the female body so maybe I will write a ‘Part II’ someday. Concerning this article, if you already knew all this, good for you and if you just learned about all this, good for you too. However, if you choose to not believe me and the studies and other articles I used to back this up, it’s your choice I guess but please don’t spread your ignorance and wrongness. Don’t refuse to advise your sisters and girlfriends well. Don’t teach your daughters wrong. Don’t be shy or embarrassed, we are in the 21st century, there’s no more time for this childishness when it comes to the human body.

If you persist, however, to go on perpetuating lies, I have one last gif for you:

be wrong

and please be wrong alone.

To the rest of you, have fun and stay safe!

 

p.s: I am not a top-notch vagina expert but I happen to have one and I’ve researched a lot about it since I’ve known how to use the Internet- and that’s been a while really- and I can tell you I would never ever mislead anyone intentionally about vaginas, hygiene, the human body and freedom of choice and I assure you I have not done so in this piece of writing above.

16 reasons why wearing glasses suck

16 Jul

I’ve been wearing glasses ever since I was 9 years old. That means I’ve been wearing glasses for over half of my life. You might think I should have gotten used to it by now, but let me tell you something, there are things you just cannot get used to.

#1. Not finding them

One thing about being really badly short-sighted- everything 10 cm onward away from my face is blurry to me – is that when you lose your glasses, you can’t see them, you can’t see the two thin coloured sticks and the two transparent little panes. It is mission impossible and you have two choices: 1. be weak and ask for help or 2. rely on your other senses and hope you can recognise your glasses cry. Oh yeah, wait, glasses don’t make a noise, so yeah, you can only rely on your sense of touch and start touching everything around you. Every. Single. Surface. Has. To. Be. Covered. Good luck.

me neither, Velma, me neither...

me neither, Velma, me neither…

#2. Rain

Now don’t get me mistaken, I like rain. It’s just that I would probably enjoy rain 100% more if I was not as blind as a bat.

 

speaks for itself

speaks for itself

See what I mean?

#3. Smudges

Smudges are a bit like rain except there’s no way one can enjoy smudges. No way. They are like the nemesis of the myopic.

smudge

 

#4. The tan lines

Those will happen. When you live in a tropical country, like me, it’s just a teeny bit worse. When you are darker-skinned, like my sister, it may get a little bit more than “a teeny bit” worse. She has a lighter line crossing her nose, you know, where the glasses stand and block the sun. My tan lines are a bit different; all the area behind my glasses- I mean even behind the actual glass part- is lighter. If you look at me you will barely notice, but then maybe that’s because I wear an equaliser facial cream. *wink wink*

#5. Idiots

Idiots, meaning those people who find it absolutely hilarious to take your glasses from your face and ask you dumb questions like “how many fingers am I holding up?” or dumber questions like “what colour am I?” I am not even kidding you here. I have been asked those questions, the former more often and even the first time it was not funny. Actually, it is as funny as taking away someone’s wheelchair just to see to what extent they cannot walk. It is not funny.

And for those who legitimately wonder, it’s just blurry. Fingers don’t double and colours don’t change. It’s blurry and we don’t see all the little details, like those old YouTube videos that you can’t switch to HD.

hd

#6. Other idiots

You know, those people who have perfect vision and want to wear glasses. Some of them are ready to ruin their eyesight to be able to accessorise their eyes. Others just wear glasses with no lenses..or fake glasses that do nothing to improve eyesight but supposedly improve style. If you wear glasses, you know you hate those people. No, just kidding, maybe they are your friends and you don’t “hate hate” them, but you still want to push them off a cliff every time they tell you how lucky you are to wear glasses.

*pushes you off a cliff*

*pushes you off a cliff*

#7. Sunglasses

Because I can’t. All those who do not wear glasses have such a hard time choosing their sunglasses, right? If you go to the mall, for sure there will be sunglasses in all retail stores, clothes stores, make-up stores… The mall I’m most used to is the Bagatelle one and I can tell you there are sunglasses in stores ranging from Aldo. Jennyfer, Ibiza, Woolworth, Sweet Sugar, Truworths, to Mr. Price, Manjoo, Réserve Naturelle and all the supermarkets. Pretty sunglasses can also be found in the markets and even sold by hawkers on the road. And their prices won’t even get you crying, unlike those at actual glasses stores. Those very stores where people who actually wear glasses have to buy theirs because they need to have them adjusted to their crappy eyesight.

#8. 3D glasses at the cinema

I know many people have already complained about the weight of 3D glasses, now imagine what it is like when you have to balance two pairs of glasses on your nose. I can say my nose, and my ears for that matter, enjoy this activity as much as I do. There’s only so much space for one pair, but I cannot say blurry 3D tempts me.

It is annoying, but to watch a good movie I can bear with it. Two hours is not that long, huh?

#9. The pre-kiss anxiety

The big question that people who wears glasses cannot help turning over and over again in their head when they start liking someone who wears glasses too is “will they clash?” They most likely will sometimes and honestly it is not such a big deal when it happens but pre-kiss will always still be a moment doused in apprehension, at least to me.

#10. I can’t hear without my glasses

Well actually, I can. But not as good as with them. I’m not sure if this applies to people other than me, but since it applies to someone it’s on this list. I don’t know if it is because I part lip-read unconsciously or if the glasses’ temples stimulate my ears but I just understand what people say better when I have my glasses on. Which is kinda ridiculous when you think about it, but I’m not thinking about it that much.

#11. Knowing you are most certainly a reject of evolution

We cannot see. Maybe it is in our genes. Maybe it is the result of too much T.V or too much reading books from too near in the dark with just a tiny lamp(guilty!). But if a zombie apocalypse broke out and we lost our glasses while running, we’d be doomed. Because a blurry zombie looks just like a normal person and when we get near enough to notice it IS a zombie we’re doomed. Seeing underwater without glasses is near impossible too. Now imagine losing your glasses in the sea, finding them would be mission impossible upgraded to level 100.

#12. It’s expensive to see

Glasses, more the lenses actually, are expensive. When you start seeing the world blur around you when you have your glasses on, you know it’s time for a check-up, an upgrade and, well, an expense. Again. I’m nearly 19 and I must have changed glasses 10 times. I wonder when my eyesight will stop getting worse. No actually, I wonder if my eyesight will stop getting worse one day.

#13. I don’t know what I look like without glasses

I don’t know, I have a vague idea- more like a blurred idea, haha very punny- of what I look like without glasses. However, that idea is a mix between the completely blurry face I see in the mirror when I do normal stuff like brushing my teeth (and by completely blurry I mean I barely see my eyes and lips and nose) and the very accurate details I see when I put my face inches away from the mirror. That image is not flattering at all. Anyway, this brings up the next problem.

#14. Taking glasses-less selfies is a challenge

Taking pictures of something you cannot see is always a challenge. In the actual case of selfies, I have a method: you just pull a few faces, hope for the best, put on your glasses to check the pictures, delete the pictures, start over 57 more times. Next time someone who wears glasses sends you a selfie of them, say in a bathtub or a pool, with glasses on, do not point out that it is weird. They know. They can’t really help it.

#15. Wearing them when you shave

No matter how bad the eyesight, you don’t really really need them to shave- say, your legs- but you know it is a lot more practical to actually see what you are shaving: less chances to miss something and less chances to cut yourself and not see the blood because it is just a tiny drop. But if you do wear the glasses, chances are they will fog up..or get drops on them, thus re-enacting the ‘rain’ problem.

#16. Peripheral vision and visual distortion

Peripheral vision, meaning if I look at the side without moving my head, the world is blurry. Visual distortion, meaning my eyes look smaller than they actually are because the glass is thick like that.

You know what else? That sexy thing that women(some men do it too though) who wear glasses usually do on T.V or stuff…

THAT thing.

THAT thing.

If I did THAT thing, I would not see you. Maybe it would still be somewhat sexy to you, but I would not see you see me being sexy.

By now, I bet there is only one thing you want to tell me: “JUST GET CONTACT LENSES!!”

Maybe I should. I most probably should. This way I could go scuba diving and play sports with more ease and less glasses slipping down my nose. I would not have that rain problem, or that 3D glasses problem, or that sunglasses problem or any other problem. Thing is, I’m a wimp. When you say “contact lenses” there is only one thing I think about and nothing you say will convince me.

contacts

I’m guessing removing them is tricky too. Falling asleep with them is a ‘no-no’ so no, maybe later when I’ll hate my glasses more. This is probably not gonna happen though since you cannot hate what lets you see. I think.

 

So long my fellow Velmas 😉

Take care.