You may think you know everything about your body..or your girlfriend’s body or your wife’s body or your friend with benefits’ body. Maybe in your head you are an ultimate sex god. Maybe you think you are a total noob. Thing is, there are a few things that you really have to know, be it for yourself, for a friend or your future daughter or anyone that could ask you questions and that you won’t want to mislead. Today, we are debunking myths.
Please note that I was gonna put a warning sign at the top of this article but then realised that everyone should know about what I am addressing and that I have not been vulgar in any way. If you disagree, we can talk about it.
Now, let’s get down to business.
Myth no.1: Shaving causes hair to grow back thicker or fuller.
This is one of the biggest myths that have ever been passed on from generations to generations. However, it is just a myth that science easily makes do of. Shaving simply cuts the hair. Hair growth is controlled by hair follicles found just underneath the skin. There is no way that shaving can affect the follicles deep under the skin since only the outer part of your hair that is already dead is getting cut. The follicles underneath that determine thickness and growth rate remain completely unaffected by your shaving or not shaving or waxing for that matter. The only factors that could affect the follicles are genetics and hormones.
The shorter hair is just stuck at an angle that makes it look coarse and thick. It is an illusion. It is also just a ‘feeling’ that the hair is stronger and broader when it is shorter, but the actual thickness is exactly the same as when it was when longer.
Myth no.2: You have to shave or wax to enjoy life- or sex.
It is easy to feel pressurised to shave or wax with all the commercials of beautiful women shaving or waxing their already hair-less long and sexy legs. Maybe all your friends wax and maybe all the women in your family have always shaved but in all honesty, none of this means you have to do so too. You do not have an obligation to do something to your body that you don’t want to do. If you don’t feel like waxing your legs then don’t. If you don’t feel like shaving, fine. It is your body, it is your choice. You don’t have to do it if your boyfriend asks you to. You don’t have to do it if your grandmother thinks it would look prettier. This also works in the other direction: your best friend telling you not to shave is not good reason enough to not do it if you feel like shaving.
Also, this myth concerns pubic hair as well. It is not because clean-shaven pussy is a trend in the porn industry that you have to shave yours, or pressurise your girlfriend into shaving hers. Shaving the pubic area has become very common, even desirable, among teenagers and young adults. And although it may be becoming the social norm, that does not mean you should do it. Again, your body, your choice. However it is important to note that pubic hair exists for a reason and removing it may not be the best idea ever. Some research should be done before your take a razor to your bush.
Fun fact: the average woman is estimated to spend an average of $10,000 on hair removal and shaving products in her entire life. That’s approximately Rs 308,000. Personally, I’d rather spend that on travelling or buying books than on the smoothness of my legs. Ultimately the choice is yours- and yours only- whether you decide to shave/wax or not.
Myth no.3: The hymen breaks the first time you have sex.
I’m gonna be honest with you, the first time I heard of the hymen, how it breaks when you have sex for the first time and how after that you are no more a virgin, I was eleven and I did not even understand where the hell the hymen is. I think you are supposed to see it or feel it and it is not even supposed to be complicated. But really, I was at a loss and I was glad to read that many scientists can’t really agree on where the hymen is supposed to be either.
Anyways, let’s talk about hymens. Girls are often led to believe that the hymen is a flat piece of tissue covering the vagina, which is punctured during intercourse. False. “Usually, the hymen looks like a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening,” says Carol Roye, a nursing professor at Hunter College and a nurse practitioner who specializes in adolescent primary and reproductive health care.. “It is not an intact piece of tissue draped across it. Some girls are born without a hymen, others have only a scanty fringe of tissue. Despite all the mystery around it, we can agree that the hymen is just a body part.” Oh and for your information, hymens don’t “break”. They can get torn during sex or any other physical activity ranging from horse riding to falling off a trampoline but they don’t break. You can’t tear through the hymen the way you could poke a hole in saran wrapper with your fingers. The thing about hymens is that, like any other part of a person’s body, it changes with time. Cleaning, self-exploration, sports and even walking all contribute to thin and widen the hymenal tissue and by the time a girl reaches adulthood, there is little to no tissue remaining around the vaginal opening and it is really not a big deal because your hymen is NOT the sign of your virginity.
The concept of virginity has an emotional connotation. It is more than just the physical disruption of hymenal tissue.
If a young woman has had a sexual relationship with her partner, and she feels that she has lost her virginity, then she has, regardless of what actually happened to her hymen during the encounter. There are ancillary issues that each woman must answer for herself.
That also means you cannot ‘restore your virginity’ through hymenal reconstructive surgery or with fake hymens. Virginity is in your head.
Myth no.4: Your first time will absolutely hurt.
I can already hear you from here. “But my first time did hurt! A lot!” Okay, maybe it did hurt but thing is it should not have to hurt. The fact that it is the first time is not the reason behind the pain, correlation is not causation. The pain actually comes from increased muscle tensions due to nervousness. “But I did bleed!” Yes well, that is most likely due to tissues breaking because of lack of lubricating. That in itself would be the result of not enough foreplay and inexperience. “Tissue breaking? You mean my hymen, right?” No. No I do not mean your hymen. What I mean though, is that the main reason girls experience pain the first time they have sex is because they expect to feel pain. This expectation is what causes the nervousness that causes the extra tightness, the lack of natural lubricant, the pain and the bleeding. Forget the hymen. The pain you experience is not the hymen breaking simply because the hymen does not break. Okay? Okay.
Long conclusion: If we stopped telling girls to expect horrible pain on their first times, things would be a lot less painful for them and a lot less troublesome for everyone.
Short conclusion: It is kinda all in your head.
Myth no.5: A tight vagina is a sign of sexual arousal.
whaaaaat?
If you thought this was so, I have bad news for you: your life is a lie. Maybe you’ve seen countless of comments and erotic stories and fanfictions mention how “wet tight pussies” are the shit, I’ve seen them too and they are as wrong as can be. A tight vagina is actually a sign of not being sexually stimulated enough. If your girlfriend is really tight it is not an epic win. She is either too nervous or has a medical condition or you are just doing a terrible job at turning her on. Sorry, not sorry. Know that It can take sometimes 20 minutes or more of foreplay for a woman’s vaginal muscles to relax enough to be truly ready for penetrative sex. So take your time and relax.
Myth no.6: Small, petite or even virgin girls have tighter vaginas.
Being small, petite or a virgin is not the reason why a vagina is tighter than usual. Anxiety is the only thing that makes the vaginal musculature clench even tighter. Size, age and sexual experience of a person does not physically affect the vagina. Some tall and huge women can be tight if they’re anxious and some small, young virgins who are relaxed and turned on can be stretched just the right way. Vaginas are elastic and will stretch and expand – sometimes to almost twice their size – during sex, regardless of how big or small you are, if they are rubbed the right way.
However, someone who has sex often may be less anxious that someone who has never had sex before. That is why it is often believed that virgins have tighter vaginas, thing is they are probably just more stressed about the sex.
P.s: This does not refer to children. Children should not be having sex.
Myth no.7: You need to clean your vagina regularly.
You may be genuinely confused about this one. Maybe all your life you’ve been told to wash your private parts carefully with water and soap or even douche or other cleansing products. But there’s something you have to know: the vagina is a self-cleaning organ. It produces its own vagina-made protective substances that gets rid of any unwanted bacteria and fluids. “But douche has been specially designed to clean vaginas, right?” Well, yes and no. Most of the time all these feminine cleansing products can do more harm than good by unbalancing the vaginas natural pH and causing irritations. Water should do just the trick. The only time a vagina might need extra help cleaning-wise is if you notice a stronger than usual smell down there. Healthy vaginas should not smell like fish, if yours constantly has this problem you should definitely see a doctor. Yeast infections, dehydration or an excess intake of vitamin supplements could be the problem. In any case, no need to panic. No need to take huge risks either, so just go see a doctor.
Myth no.8: Sex and childbirth will loosen your vagina forever.
Right, and your girlfriend feeling looser down there is not proof she is cheating on you. Look, as I said above, vaginas are elastic and they most usually always naturally tighten again after sex. The vagina is like an elastic band and unless you have sex 5 times a day every single day, there should not be any visible effect on your vagina. Intercourse does not permanently loosen your vagina.
Similarly, childbirth will not stretch your vagina to the point of no return. Of course, the stretching is not comparable to the one that happens during sex but give it a few months and your ‘va jay jay’ should be back to new. However, age and frequency are important factors and studies have shown that often, the vaginas of young women after multiple births may not snap back entirely back as they were and older women who have give birth more than once in their later days tend to experience “persistent looseness.”
I addressed only 8 myths in this article but there are actually many many more things that people are very wrong about when it comes to the female body so maybe I will write a ‘Part II’ someday. Concerning this article, if you already knew all this, good for you and if you just learned about all this, good for you too. However, if you choose to not believe me and the studies and other articles I used to back this up, it’s your choice I guess but please don’t spread your ignorance and wrongness. Don’t refuse to advise your sisters and girlfriends well. Don’t teach your daughters wrong. Don’t be shy or embarrassed, we are in the 21st century, there’s no more time for this childishness when it comes to the human body.
If you persist, however, to go on perpetuating lies, I have one last gif for you:
and please be wrong alone.
To the rest of you, have fun and stay safe!
p.s: I am not a top-notch vagina expert but I happen to have one and I’ve researched a lot about it since I’ve known how to use the Internet- and that’s been a while really- and I can tell you I would never ever mislead anyone intentionally about vaginas, hygiene, the human body and freedom of choice and I assure you I have not done so in this piece of writing above.
La Dolce Vita of Lexperanza ♥ 